The largest tree is born of a small seed; a nine-story tower began with a handful of earth.
– Lao Tzu
Here is the conclusion of my book Unlimited growth.
I propose this conclusion in the form of interrogation, because I am sure that many still doubt their ability to begin this continuous process of personal growth.
I'm here to motivate you more and give you all the right reasons to start now!
The last little story (of this book)!
I hope that I have convinced you to unleash the power of unlimited growth to fulfill each day and live the life you dream of.
If this is not yet the case, here is a little story that is inspired by a Hindu legend and you may change your mind.
At the beginning of the world, all human beings were gods and possessed great powers.
Unfortunately, they were not wise enough to use them and they abused them.
It is for this reason that the king of the gods, Brahma, chooses to deprive them of their divinity.
But he was wondering where to hide these powers so that human beings never find them.
It was difficult to solve this problem because the human being was known for his insatiable curiosity.
Brahma summoned the council and gathered the other gods to find a solution.
Suggestions were abundant.
Some proposed sending the deity of human beings into the deepest oceans, throwing it into a volcano or even on the moon.
But each time, Brahma replied: "No! Humans will search and they will eventually find it. "
It was then that Brahma had a brilliant idea: "We are going to hide the human divinity and its powers in the only place where the human being will not seek, in the depths of himself! "
Brahma was right for a very long time.
The human being has explored all the corners of the earth, from the highest mountain to the bottom of the oceans, and it is very difficult for each of us to find that divine power that we all hold deep within ourselves.
But this power does exist if we decide to pay careful attention to our lives and stop being reactive and focus on external events.
It is at this moment that we will regain our divine powers from so long ago.
And these powers allow us to achieve!
All the right reasons to improve every day
When I meet people in my work and in my social relationships, the majority is open to my point of view on self-realization.
Many are even downright excited about getting much more out of their lives and seeing that this is possible.
However, some people react badly to me, often because they judge it too quickly, without taking the time to explore it through their own lives.
And, above all, they judge him without opening, without taking the time to see if part of the subject would be useful to them, quite the opposite of the pragmatic attitude I spoke of in this article.
With such an attitude, these people deprive themselves of much of their experiences because they judge only from their past experiences and their prejudices.
Thus, before closing, I would like to make some clarifications on the very essence of self-realization, as I have spoken about it in this book.
First, answer this question (a little crude, I agree 😉):
- Do you want to live a life banal or, on the contrary, do you want to enjoy your life to the maximum and live extraordinary things?
Obviously, the definition of what is banal or extraordinary for you is not necessarily the same as mine or that of your neighbor.
But it does not matter!
As I mentioned before, I do not pretend to be able to choose in the place of anyone what makes him happy.
My role is limited to helping you tap the potential that lies deep inside you.
Just remember that you can to choose what you want to live.
And if your life does not satisfy you, maybe it's time to open up to other perspectives.
If you find that the strategies I have proposed to you are too much effort and would make you a robot as you would be organized, wait before judging.
We often judge others and situations only from what we know and we do not always have the courage and honesty to try something new before judging it.
Personally, I have already been very poorly organized.
So I know exactly what this kind of life looks like.
Today, I am very organized, and I know also all that brings me.
I have the necessary information to judge: I can compare the two situations.
But if you have never been organized or efficient, then wait before judging those who are.
You may have big surprises!
As long as you do not bother to try something new to make your own idea, it is wise to suspend your judgment.
We are often afraid of what is different from our values and our way of life.
This reaction is normal.
But unless you are perfectly happy and fully satisfied with your life, you gain a lot by opening up to the difference and making new experiences.
As long as you cling to your prejudices, out of fear, out of habit, out of pride or for any other excellent bad reasonyou will prevent your life from progressing.
Is personal efficiency contrary to freedom and spontaneity?
People who have achieved the greatest things have been able to discipline themselves, organize themselves, work and maintain a long-term vision despite their fears, doubts and criticisms of those around them.
You want examples ?
Mahatma Ghandi, Albert Einstein, Mother Teresa, William Shakespeare, Winston Churchill, Simone de Beauvoir, etc.
It's up to you to continue this list!
| As the French writer said Jules Claretie, a person who does something thing against those who would like to do the same thing, those who do precisely the opposite and above all the great army of people all the more severe as they do nothing at all. |
If these great men and women had not persevered, they simply would not have succeeded.
And why did they succeed?
Because they did not want to live a banal life: they pursued goals (in this case, the term "ideals" might be more appropriate) much bigger than themselves.
Of course, we do not necessarily have the same ambitions as these famous people, but we too can pursue our vision and make a difference in our lives and those of others.
To achieve results, whatever they are, we must give ourselves the means.
That's what leads me to talk to you about the confusion I have noticed in many people that makes them think that efficiency and personal organization destroy freedom and spontaneity.
Of course, the definition of freedom and spontaneity varies significantly from person to person.
But let's at least agree that in broad outline freedom is the ability to exercise the power of one's will over one's life (what is also called the free will) and that spontaneity is the expression of this freedom at any time.
We are never completely free, because we have to submit our life to many imperatives, starting with the needs of eating, breathing and going to the bathroom, to name the most trivial …
As I already mentioned, proactivity is an attitude that requires us to take initiatives in order to to minimize our efforts, our mistakes, etc. in the future.
In other words, Proactivity corresponds exactly to personal organization and efficiency.
Take the example of Denis and Marie, two people who do not know each other but who both go to the grocery store to gather the ingredients of a good meal they will cook to receive friends.
Denis is organized.
He looked at his recipe book and wrote down everything he needed on a list.
For her part, Marie loves her spontaneity, which according to her is to decide on the spur of the moment without ever foresee or organize.
She also finds that people like Denis lose their freedom because they organize too much their time and their activities …
Marie goes to the grocery store and buys what she needs to improvise her meal.
Back home, as she begins to cook, Marie realizes that she is missing several ingredients and that she has to go back to the grocery store.
Her stress increases as time goes by and she has to leave her recipe out.
She goes back to the grocery store and loses precious time that she could have spent relaxing when she finished her meal.
So, according to you, in this example, who is really the freest?
Denis or Marie?
Is the free person the one who has to repair his mistakes at the last moment or the one who is proactive and free himself from the time to do what she really likes precisely because she invested a little to get organized?
Of course, buying a bread does not require a grocery list, but as soon as the situation becomes more complex, it is much more useful to anticipate and manage our activities.
This attitude is a greater source of freedom, although that at first sight seems to be the opposite.
In other words, proactivity and organization make free!
Let's take another example.
Many people would like to have enough money to retire at fifty or fifty-five but do nothing to make it happen.
If you're integrating your personal finances into your vision, you'll be starting today with a host of small initiatives that may even allow you to retire earlier!
Will these initiatives take away your freedom?
It depends on your way of seeing things.
For you, is it more important to spend your money each week on goods and services that do not change much in your life, or do you prefer to have full financial freedom in a number of years? freedom that will allow you to dedicate all your time to your passions and your dreams?
You may answer me that life will be very monotonous if you spend less, it will lose its taste.
Maybe in the beginning, indeed.
But as the person who undertakes to stop smoking, to exercise more, to change their eating habits, etc., any change from a pleasant bad habit in the short term is perceived as a loss.
I explained this process in detail: Good long-term habits are hard to pick up at first, but they quickly make you happier than bad habits in the short term.
You may also tell me that there is no point in saving money because you can not be sure that you will live to age 80.
It is true indeed that you do not have this certainty. Carpe Diem, or YOLO, as they say!
But do not be fooled. If you live in the West, you have a lot of chances to live a long time …
Sorry to disappoint you! 😛
Here are some excerpts from an actuarial study conducted in 2014 for the Government of Canada:
- "According to the 1925 mortality tables, the probability of a man reaching the age of 65 was 57%. In 2010, this probability increased to 87% and is expected to be 93% by 2075. (Source)
- "It is anticipated that deaths in the age group 85 and over will eventually become the highest proportion of all deaths compared to the younger age groups indicated, as the number of seniors increases. By 2075, more than 65% of all deaths would occur in people age 85 or older. (Source)
Personally, I am very happy to tell myself that I am preparing to live a long time, and in the best possible conditions, even if it requires some effort and some short-term deprivation.
It's well worth it, especially because the changes you make to your life will make you happier right now in addition to guaranteeing you better living conditions as you get older (health, personal finances, etc.)
Thus, the freedom that comes from personal fulfillment is very special.
Every human being has dreams and a great capacity to create.
If you are very busy but realize that you feel deeply free.
Why ?
Simply because you have selected your constraints and you know that they give you the results that make you happy, both now and in the future.
Avoid reefs and storms
You already have a great power, but this one explodes literally when you decide to better exploit it by taking concrete initiatives.
When you take action, you begin to believe that you can revolutionize your life, and it is this conviction that allows you to succeed!
It's easy to read an article like this.
What is really difficult is to apply its content every day.
With all these personal management strategies, I may have given you the impression that my life is set like a Swiss clock and that I leave no room for freedom or chance.
If that were the case, I would fail miserably to live the values that are most dear to my heart and to be happy.
But the imbalance does not lead to happiness.
And a newspaper set on a quarter turn necessarily leaves aside very beautiful dimensions of life.
In other words, do not go crazy about efficiency!
Because the effects of unlimited (personal) growth are progressive and you must never stop enjoying the present moment.
I presented you with a wide range of strategies that you can use.
Only remember the ones that best fit your personality and are relevant to achieving your goals.
The management of time and priorities, when it is well used, must lighten life, by weighing it down!
And here is one last question I would like to ask you.
Why do you want to achieve?
Of course, for yourselves. But what taste will you have for success? (Well, I admit, it's more like two questions …)
When you contemplate the sky from the top of the mountain (or when you digest the many elephants you have eaten), ask yourself if you have succeeded only for yourself.
Can you really succeed only for yourself? (Okay, three questions …)
No one who really succeeds does so only for personal benefit.
If so, life quickly becomes meaningless and fills with misery.
The vision was too limited.
Concern for others is an unlimited source of satisfaction.
It is about love, an inexhaustible source of meaning to nourish life.
When you have achieved all the goals you dream for yourself, do not forget to share with others everything you have received!
At that moment, you will have passed the stage of personal realization to reach that of the personal transcendence.
It is the most accomplished and "spiritual" dimension of this great process in which you will be engaged.
Self-transcendence fundamentally affects the meaning and the mission that you give to your existence and participates in the collective work of humanity.
This is what the phrase "Give to the next" summarizes. "
The more you improve and the more motivated you are, the more you will want to talk to others and help them.
In short, you will want to give a hundred times what you have received (while keeping what you have: confidence, esteem, joy, satisfaction, etc.)!
Some important details before finishing …
I have always believed in the fundamental importance of nuance in thinking and critical thinking.
My book Small antidepressant treat is even very much based on this question.
The world we live in is far too complex for us to be satisfied with ready-made answers.
Unfortunately, the limited space did not allow me to qualify as I would have liked all the topics I mentioned.
It would have taken several hundred more pages and I would have missed the purpose of this book, which is to provide you with concrete tools and inspiration to help you achieve.
So I trust your intelligence to nuance my words and not to believe that what I present is simplistic and easy: if it was the case, everyone would already realize perfectly!
In closing, I would only like to qualify a subject on which I do not want to be misunderstood.
And to introduce this subject, here is a very interesting quote from the Italian doctor Carlo Moïso:
The current social pathology is the feeling of inadequacy. It should always be maximum, always win, always succeed. Whoever does not succeed or fails, has become the "poor" […]. Hence the modern depression, the one that undermines our society. It reflects the guilt of being insufficient not in relation to what one does, but in relation to what one could do. […] The new guilt is not to have exploited a possibility: you have to succeed in everything you do.1
With a title like Unlimited growthit would be easy to believe that my book fits exactly in what Moïso criticizes.
But that's not the case at all, and here's why.
Unlimited (personal) growth is, of course, about getting better results.
But these results must match to what you really are.
And the quality of the results is more important than their quantity!
That is why Self-actualization also involves slowing down, getting to know each other better and reorienting one's activities and outcomes to fit what we really are, and not to follow the diktats of the society of consumption and performance.
Unlimited growth is all about making better initiatives for yourself, getting more results that match your values, your interests, and fewer outcomes that do not match.
So the goal is not to feel guilty because you are not doing enough, but to be satisfied with what you have achieved because it was really important for yourselves.
You can not succeed everything, let alone the first time!
That's why I talked about the importance of considering difficulties and failure as an important part of this process that allows you to live your dream life, by and for yourself, in all authenticity.
Fashion the life you deserve!
I could never have written this book a few years ago.
All the content would have been only theoretical because, at that time, I had not yet lived the benefits of personal achievement.
Now, on the contrary, I try to lead by example and I write these last lines with a deep certainty that I did not have before.
I'm sure it's really possible to realize when we take the initiative.
This involves giving oneself a vision, goals, making efforts, asking questions to improve oneself and persevering.
Even if nothing in my past predisposed me to realize me so much, I now have the conviction to succeed a little more every day.
I have this conviction because I have decided to get more of what pleases me in life, and to do every day what this decision entails.
And remember that real decisions are not just wishes: they are always accompanied by concrete actions!
In other words, you must first listen to you to gradually strengthen the control you have over your life, this control which is a guarantee of confidence and self-esteem.
Only you have the power to initiate this healthy process.
I know that many people are passionate about self-realization.
They attend seminars, conferences, they read a lot of books like this one.
These sources of positive information feed their motivation on the spot, but this motivation does not always last long enough to bring lasting changes to their lives.
What is missing ?
The most important thing is to have an overview of your life, a clear idea of the results we want to achieve, big and small, and an effective way to take action and measure the results we get.
This article on Motivational Interviewing also offers other strategies to motivate you in the long term, such as decisional balance.
These strategies have the potential to keep you motivated and persevering to failure until you achieve what you want.
The purpose of this book is to help you take control of your own life.
As long as you are too busy to spend time clarifying your goals, improving your efficiency and results, as long as you do not bother to congratulate yourself on your personal improvements, nothing will happen.
As long as you wait for an event or a person to change your life, nothing will happen.
This great decision, you must take it for yourself, for yourself.
Therefore, you will no longer apply "strategies" but you will live the results you have created!
You will have completely revolutionized your way of seeing your existence and living it.
Change everything you need to succeed, but stay who you are.
That's how we love you!
You have the potential you need to fulfill many dreams.
But you must start now!
If you really want to live and live the life of your dreams, take action and nothing will stop you.
Never !
If you liked this article, know that it is from my book Unlimited growth. You can get it in ebook version to read it in full.
Reference
- Quoted in the book The job of coach François Delivré (or book link if you are in Canada).
Here is a book that I suggest you to go further:
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