It is not new that today man-woman relationships have become more egalitarian – and this reflects directly on the family, which involves the exercise of motherhood and fatherhood in a different way. Today the creation of children is divided between the couple and the man, in most cases, one feels more comfortable to participate in this family life.
“It is common for parents to feel the need to talk and to have a stronger relationship with their children, but as this is still something relatively new for our society, many of them do not know how to do it naturally and end up feeling if bothered ”, comments the psychologist and coach, João Alexandre Borba, who complements“ many of these current parents had authoritarian parents, 'sargentões'. These, in turn, had even more 'tough' parents, who saw wars up close and etc. "
However, it is possible to develop a good relationship between father and children, and, for this, the psychologist offers some suggestions of attitudes that can be taken to facilitate coexistence and create stronger bonds of affection.
"The father needs to understand that when he spends time with his son, he is investing in the child's life, after all, a good relationship between father and son can make all the difference in the life of any child", he exalts. For this, the psychologist suggests that the father talk to his children every day. “The ideal is to do this when the child is very young. Even if it is only a few moments, when this conversation takes place your child realizes that you are taking the time to talk to him and that he is important to you. Ask him about his day, his ups and downs, and whatever else is of interest to him. It is important that the child feels safe to talk to his father about anything ”he explains.
Another tip that Borba offers is that the father and the children share some common interest. “When this mutual interest happens, the two have the opportunity to spend more time together”, he comments.
The father must also remember to praise his children and emphasize their qualities. “Children need to know when they have done something good, and for that, nothing better than the recognition of the father. Everyone wants to hear good things, but often the father can be too critical and just point out and correct mistakes ”explains Borba.
“Another very important aspect is the teaching. The father must always teach his children, especially by example. Sharing knowledge is very important, but more important than that is being a good person on a daily basis – and influencing your children through it. Don't you like children swearing? So don't talk to yourself, for example. The examples are what will remain for posterity, your children will remember you for what you did daily, and not just for what was said ”, concludes Borba.
Learn more about the author of the text:
João Alexandre Borba
Master Coach Trainer and Psychologist
Facebook João Alexandre Borba