It all starts with a meeting. Passion is born quickly. This person who enters our lives, we never want to see him go out again. We make plans, we move together. We never want to see this soothing, so rewarding relationship stop.
And then reality is knocking on our door. We must resume the normal course of his life. One gets used to the presence of the other. To the strength of the couple. Monotony becomes a risk. The routine weighs on the union.
The risk arises from a lack of mutual effort. And you know more … a lot of couples are separating then. So the question is: how to succeed in love? How to be happy and everything goes well?
As often, your state of mind is decisive
The way you perceive the world around you plays an important role in the nature of your reactions. And this is just as true in the field of human relations. When you fall in love, you are ready for everything for the other. You want to merge with him / her.
The idea of his suffering is unbearable. You are then completely open. Considerate. Your own interest goes after that of the other. Because of his well-being depends the image that this person sends you back.
This logic, we tend to abandon it over time. After 8 years of relationship if your wife asks you to take out the trash, you see that as a constraint. You wonder why she does not do it herself. You tell him, no doubt.
She would have asked you the same thing 8 years ago … you would have run outside, with a big smile. What has changed ? It's because you believe yourself safe. You do not think you have to make the slightest effort to seduce your wife.
To succeed in love, to strengthen a couple in time, you must keep this will, this awareness of the fact that the collective interest lies in the demonstration of your interest in the other.
The notion of independence is and remains vital to succeed in love
What attracts you and what pleases everyone else is the discovery of the other. Entering a universe you do not know. To see the differences that exist.
To see that the person for whom you have feelings is able to blossom, to live, to be successful in areas that are foreign to you.
Somehow, we want to live with someone who does not need us. This makes the couple stronger. Since the feelings then highlighted are real and do not stem from any dependence.
To succeed in love, you must, and it may seem paradoxical for some, retain a degree of independence. A secret garden. It's not about hiding things from each other … but just not to deny who you are. What defines you
Your passions, your hobbies … these are important things you can not give up. Do not stop going out, to see your friends, your family. A romantic relationship is not an exclusive relationship. If you close the door on this couple, the air will be rare.
Love is built on values like respect and trust. And for these to predominate, you must be able to enjoy your freedom as you must let the other breathe.
To succeed in love, it's all about balance, harmony. Reciprocity. The discovery must be daily, as the desire to maintain the flame and fight against routine!