There is a nature in the human being that is still little known to us all, I want to talk about manipulators.
Indeed, we are surrounded daily by such people at work (colleagues, boss …), in our private life (spouse, children, parents, friends …) or elsewhere and yet we are unable to see their true faces , or at least not right now.
And cause you tell me because these people do not have a face but a whole panoply, they adopt according to their needs.
These human beings have intense power over others. They are very charismatic, of an irreproachable behavior, they are very sure of them in all circumstances, ready to render service in short they would give them the good god without confession!
And yet behind this portrait so smooth, so clean, hides carpets in the shadow of thoughts and intentions much less pretty than it seems! In fact, they are "vampires" because it uses you as objects, you pump your energy and your goodwill to fill their need for domination over you. They only relate to you for interest, then they throw you out.
There is, however, a way to unmask them if one observes them well and tries to start thinking like them.
How to spot a manipulator?
Here is a non exhaustive list of the attitudes of a manipulator (man or woman):
1. During a conversation, if (he or she) is only talking about herself in the slightest details and not interested in you, be careful there is danger! The only people who are interested in manipulators they are THEM and nothing but them!
2. Do not expect from them the slightest compliment towards you, on the contrary they will put forward your small defects rather than your great qualities! For them, you will never be up to it.
3. Pay attention to their answers, often they use the "scratched disk" method, that is to say that for each question you ask them, they have a ready answer that they systematically put you on the table to give the illusion of having met your expectations.
4. Second technique used by manipulators is that of "fog", this method consists of giving fuzzy answers during a conversation. Example, when you ask a manipulator "What did he do during the day? Often he will answer you "oh not much, the routine". He will never give you such trivial details as they are! It keeps you in the dark while giving you the impression of having given you a reliable answer.
5. The manipulator always trying to make you feel guilty by saying things such as: "it's your fault, you never do anything right, you just have to blame yourself …"
6. They are irresponsible beings and if you try to put them in front of their behavior, they run away from you, or lie to you or turn the situation over for themselves by "victimizing" themselves. They have a horror of not being the center of the earth or being the hero of the story.
7. Although it may sound strange, they are the first to want to do you a favor or to please you. If they act like that, obviously there is a reason! They simply want to induce in you a feeling of gratitude and gratitude in order to be able to manipulate you as they please without you noticing it.
8. Listening well to manipulator, you will often see the inconsistency of his
Speech, the manipulator in a few minutes can change his mind and tell you the exact opposite of what he said earlier.
9. It should be noted that manipulators choose people who do not trust her, or who are shy or who are isolated either socially, financially, or who exudes the joy of living and are empathetic … .. They never attack people who are affirm and are sure of them.
10. As soon as you spot one, if you can not run away from it, do you also adopt the techniques of striped disc or fog. Pay attention to the words they use because they are the "Mozart" of the well-crafted speech!
Although the picture that I draw seems very black, it is necessary to know that one does not born manipulator but that certain people become it because of not being able to receive in their early childhood the attention which it should have and wanted to have.
Unfortunately for them, their primary needs for attention and love could not be met. Parents have been unable to pay attention to the needs of their child for certain reasons, and in order to survive and grow, they have had to devise all sorts of schemes to attract their parents 'or relatives' will or by force.
These people are likely to suffer and suffer a significant emotional imbalance throughout their lives. Tell yourself that if you suffer from their behavior, the manipulator suffers 3 times more than you because he can not get out of the spiral he created without having the impression that he will leave his life!
They are not aware of the behavior they have, they are reactive and non-active beings. Paradoxically, these people have a huge need for love but can not concretely express their needs and desires.
If it is extremely difficult to live with them, their hostility would still be detrimental to them and to ourselves.
Although it may be difficult to admit, the manipulator is the mirror of our own failings and as such, if we are looking for self-research, it can instead be a valuable ally because as these people have the gift to push us into our deepest entrenchments, it sooner or later ends up bringing out the best of us.
With love
Carole Marckx-Bomerson
