Assertiveness or assertiveness

To better understand assertiveness or assertiveness

Assertiveness or assertiveness is an aptitude to behave better towards others and towards oneself. In other words, it is a skill that allows an individual to excel in communication. To take this into account, it is useful in all circumstances. If you have trouble establishing a good relationship with your colleagues, your family or anyone around you, think about developing your assertive behavior. The interest of this article is precisely to teach you a little more about this concept.

Assertiveness in a few lines

It is an American psychologist named Andrew Salter who discovered the concept of assertiveness during the twentieth century. At the time, many liberation movements were organized in America to name only the struggle for the liberation of women and minorities. But what is assertiveness exactly? In fact, it is still difficult to give an exact definition to the Affirmation of Self. According to Robert E. Alberti and Michael L. Emmons, authors of many books that speak of personal development, it is a behavior that allows an individual to always act for his own benefit without causing harm to others . But assertiveness is much more than just a way of driving. Currently, she is one of the most important disciplines studied in professional development courses. Indeed, the success of an individual on a professional and personal level depends almost on assertiveness.

Non-assertive behavior

The best way to define assertiveness is to present the behaviors that are in contrast with it. In any case, it is that the authors of the book "Responsible Beer Behavior", AJ. Lange and P. Jakubowski did. In fact, they compared assertiveness to aggression and submission. An individual who has an aggressive behavior tends to defend his interests inappropriately. Indeed, he does not hesitate to express everything he feels, even if his thoughts could hurt others. To assert his rights, he is also ready to perform any action, even violating the rights of others. For him, the only goal is to win. So if you have to manipulate, humiliate or even hurt someone to reach it, it does not matter. An aggressive person believes himself to be the strongest. But it's a coward who uses force to get what he wants. An individual who has a behavior of submission has the tendency to repress his feelings. He prefers to keep quiet to avoid any kind of conflict. Even if he is right on one thing, he does not dare to express his thoughts. In general, he lets others make the decision for him. In short, it is someone weak who hopes to reap a little love and security by remaining passive. An individual with assertive behavior is none of this.

Assertive behavior

An assertive person is someone who is honest, always listening to others and understanding. He is also able to defend his rights without causing any harm to others. This means that he is not angry and that at no point does he try to dominate or force a person to submit to his decision. He knows how to impose his ideas and thoughts through his highly developed communication art. In fact, a person with assertive behavior always tries to find a suitable solution, regardless of the type of conflict to be resolved. He acts calmly, honestly and in a very thoughtful way. He never gives in to violence, even if he has every reason to act in this way. That does not mean he's scared. On the contrary, he is quite capable of confronting others. At first sight, assertive behavior presents a certain danger. It is very likely that others will enjoy your honesty. Yet this is the only way to have a respect for oneself and for others. It is also a way of establishing a good relationship with others.

The benefits of assertiveness

What is the use of having assertive behavior? In fact, it's the weapon you need to succeed in life. In the professional world for example, it is thanks to assertiveness that one can establish a harmonious relationship with one's superiors, colleagues and business partners. At home, it allows you to resolve any conflicts and create more friendliness between family members. Another major strength of assertiveness is that it can be a better weapon against stress and fear. Even when faced with someone aggressive, like an angry boss or a customer too demanding, someone who has an assertive behavior always doing well. He can never be the victim of abuse or harassment. But most importantly, assertiveness teaches you to act instead of reacting. It prevents you from making an impulsive gesture that you may regret later. Finally, we must not forget that assertiveness is the ideal tool to develop self-confidence and good self-esteem.

Develop an assertive behavior

To be assertive, therefore, the first thing to do is to listen to your thoughts and feelings. Of course, we must always try to see things on the right side, that is to say, to have a positive thought. Then, it is necessary to learn to listen to others. Indeed, we must try to understand their point of view and the message they really want to convey. Learning to quickly analyze the situation and respond instead of reacting stupidly is also necessary. In addition, think about finding a good solution to each problem that comes up instead of always putting yourself on the defensive. Of course, you have to know how to say "no" when you need to, by carefully choosing the words to use. Finally, in all circumstances, one must always think of what others may experience.

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